zehfuss

dlubes:

when you walk away from your friends to go fart in a far away spot and someone walks over to you

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I was the shyest human ever invented, but I had a lion inside me that wouldn’t shut up.
Ingrid Bergman (via cartographe)

ocebutt:

dooptown:

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BRING YOUR GUN TO THE GROCERY STORE

how does america even function like it sounds like a video game or something. grand theft freedom.

meatbicyclevevo:

urtube:

I hope all of you end up living in houses similar to the ones you built for your sims to live in

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thanks

apolojizzing:

bargainers:

fuck bowser

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but also fuck bowser

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…amirite?

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donutsornonuts:

We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn’t stay alive.

what does puta mean?

carlospalrner:

It means companion or best friend :)

One time i went to olive garden with my mom and she told me she was alcoholic and then the next time we went she told me that she was divorcing my dad
Anonymous

online:

when the PE teacher makes you run

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